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The Kankers/At the Gag Factory
This how the scene for the Kankers and the Gag Factory goes in Thomas, Twilight, Ed, Edd, n' Eddy's Big Picture show. and Jimmy skip past Eddy's house, carrying a basket. They enter the lane and come to a fence. Sarah: "On three, Jimmy. One..." Sarah and Jimmy: "...two...three!" toss the basket over the fence into Peach Creek Estates. They then pick it up on the other side and continue to run, giggling. This continues until they enter the woods, where Jimmy slows, then stops. Sarah: annoyed "What's the matter, Jimmy?" Jimmy: "I'm not allowed to go in there, Sarah. I still have bad dreams, and my mom had to buy a mattress cover!" Sarah: her eyes "Okay, but you're really gonna miss a doozy!" skips into the trailer park. Jimmy: a moment of contemplation "I hope Kevin knocks Eddy's teeth out!" follows Sarah down the trail. "Wait for me, girlfriend!" path forks. Sarah takes the right fork, but Jimmy, unable to see Sarah, chooses the left path. He trips over a piece of machinery and flies into a lawn chair. Bouncing off that, he flies into the air and falls into a wagon full of clothes. The wagon tips over, spilling its load behind May. All three Kankers look up. Marie: "Oh, way to go, May!" Lee: "Yeah! As if our laundry wasn't dirty enough! Quit holding up the line!" slings a bucket of clothespins at May. May: ducking "Watch it Lee!" bucket hits the wagon and boomerangs back to hit May in the back of her head. "That didn't even hurt." hits her with a giant bag of soap. Marie: "Get back to work, snoutface. My skivvies ain't gonna wash themselves." Lee: "Heh. Snoutface. Good one, Marie." picks herself up off the ground. Jimmy peeks out and sees Lee pin an undershirt to the wire. May: "If you guys weren't such fashion hogs, there wouldn't be all this laundry to do!" pulls Jimmy out from the pile. Jimmy: "Oh, please! Don't hurt me!" May: "Looks like someone left something in their pocket!" Lee: "What is it?" Marie: "Looks like it's whats-his-face!" May: "Let's call him Dutch. Lee: leering "A little far from home, aren't ya, Dutch?" May: "Uh-oh, looks like Dutch needs a diaper!" Jimmy: worried "I'm fine, really, I am! May: "Aw, he's squirming!" pins him up and proceeds to nurse him with a bottle of ketchup. Lee steals Jimmy away. Lee: "Dutch ain't a baby." throws Jimmy down. "He's a big grown man." sinister "I bet he wants a date."a few moments "WHERE'S MY FLOWERS DUTCH?!?!?" giggles as Jimmy lies on the ground, twitching. Marie: him up "Aw, my man doesn't need to give me any flowers." drops him by the washing machine. "He just needs to do my laundry. Knock yourself out, Dutch." May: Jimmy "Babies don't do laundry!" Lee: "He's mine!" grabs Jimmy's arm. "Gimme my man." Marie: Jimmy's other leg "Laundry boy's all mine, ladies." Lee: "Back off Marie." May: "Baby's mine!" three tug at Jimmy, stretching his body. Jimmy: "I'm getting stretch marks!" pants split, revealing his teddy bear underwear. "Stop! I just wanted to see Ed, Edd n Eddy get clobbered!" Kankers abruptly let go. Lee: menacing "What did you say about our boyfriends?" Sarah: "None of your beeswax!" Kankers turn to the fiery-headed newcomer. Sarah sets her basket down and seethes with rage. Tears of gratitude fill Jimmy's eyes. Jimmy: "My hero." Kankers jump his hero. Jimmy: "Leave her alone!" Sarah: "Ah ah AAAAHH!!!" Jimmy: "What'd she ever do to you?" pins Sarah to the ground. Sarah: "Get off me, lemme go!" giggles. May grabs Sarah's head and holds it in place. Lee: "So none of our beeswax, huh? What a shame." opens her mouth and sticks her finger in. When it comes out, it is covered with spit. May giggles in anticipation, and her sisters join in. May then turns Sarah's head on its side, and Lee holds her finger above Sarah. Spittle drips onto Sarah's cheek until Lee jams her finger into Sarah's ear, swishing it around in a Wet Willy. Sarah: "Ew that's so gross!" Jimmy: "A Wet Willy! Oh, the horror!" Marie: Lee works her finger "So tell us, twerp–" May: "–what do you and Dutch know about our boyfriends!" Jimmy: "Stop! Enough!" torture stops as Jimmy comes running up. "The Eds did something really bad! Something big happened because everyone's angry, chasing after them to give them their just desserts! But then those cartoon trains prevented them from doing so, and now they're hot on the trail! crying "Ahhaha, I'm such a snitch!" May: "Did you hear what Dutch said?" Marie: angry "Ain't nobody beating up on my man but me! Besides, those engines alone may not be able to protect him. Lee: "Grab the two squirts, girls. We're gonna need em." and Jimmy look at each other, worry in their eyes. our heroes Eds are walking through a field of sunflowers. Penny Ling: This is a lot better. one of the flowers is using a strange device. Suddenly, Eddy runs up. Eddy: "Double D! Check this–" runs into Ed. Edd: at Ed "Oh, um...cute." Eddy: "No, no, not that! This." picks up a sunflower and slams it into Ed's face. Ed starts to chase him. "Uh oh." Ed: "I am the mighty Agamushin! I am from outer space!" Eddy: "Don't bite me, oh Agam whatcha-whatchamacallit!" Edd: chuckling "Agamushin. A forest substrate. How apropos." looks through the device. Suddenly, Eddy grabs it. Eddy: "What's that stupid thing? Can you see cartoons in it?" spins it. "It's a wheeze-widdler!" arrives, and Eddy smiles evilly. Ed: "I will eat you now!" uses the device on Ed's face. Soon, there is nothing left of Ed on top of his coat. Eddy looks in, and an arm reaches out from inside the jacket and grabs him. Ed sticks his head out of the armhole. Ed: "Gotcha, Eddy!" chuckles. Emily: Guys, that's not a toy! Edd: the device "Yes, well, it's all fun and games, but merrymaking nearly cost us this sextant!" and Eddy abruptly stop. Eddy: "You catch that, Ed?" Edd "Ah, the what? I missed that. What's it called?" Edd: "It's called a sextant." begins to giggle. "An astronomical instrument used to–" stops. Eddy: "Again, sorry, I missed it. What's it called?" Shining Armor: the joke EDDY! ED!! Stop it! This is no time to make those kind of jokes! Edd: Thank you Shining Armor, you won't be giggling when this device triangulates our position and gives us a precise heading to the true direction of the gag factory. Minka Mark: Maybe I can climb up these flowers and looks to see if I can see anything. Sir Handel: I wonder where the factory is? Edd: Well Sir Handel, order for me to calculate our bearings to the gag factory, I'll need–" walks into a brick wall. Pinkie: Hey, it's the factory. Applejack: Well, that was quick. Ed: "Land ho!" points to a loading dock for the building: the Lemon Brook Gag Factory. Eddy: "This is it!" Ed: "Gag factory, yay!" Edd: "Sanctuary at long last!" Eddy: on the doors "HEY BIG BRO! IT'S ME! EDDY!" Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should try the front door. Eddy: "Good idea! I forgot my big bro hates back doors." Ed: "Me too! We are so alike!" Eddy: "Yeah right." group runs to the front doors of the factory. Rolf is following the trail. He stumbles down a hill as he leads Rolf into the field of cows. Rolf: "Hmm. Wilfred, look! What barbarian would allow their secreting masses of flesh to wander the field? Rolf fears a omen has befallen us." halts Wilfred and throws down a bucket. "Guard the provisions. Rolf will interrogate this caboodle of bovine discord." climbs down. As he does so, he knocks a string of sausages loose. They dangle in front of Wilfred, and Wilfred begins to follow them. Rolf: "Hal-low." has found an extremely fat cow. He milks it. Once finished, he moves out and grabs the bucket, not noticing that Wilfred has walked off. Rolf sips deeply of the milk. Rolf: finishing "The interrogation is complete, Wilfred. Nothing to fear." jumps. "NAH-SHIZ-LOW!!!" in front of Rolf is a cow. What scares Rolf is not the cow, but the cow's udder. What scares Rolf is not the udder, but the drawing on it–a mustached Eddy with "I ♥ Bro" on his shirt. Rolf: "Has the world lost its mind? The Ed-boys now have desecrated the sack of sustenance! Come, Wilfred! The Ed-boys must not escape!" looks around for Wilfred, but can't find him anywhere. Rolf: "Wilfred!" does not appear. "Wilfred?" long shot of the field shows that Wilfred is gone. "WILFRED!!!" our heroes [Ed's head slams into the door to the factory] Wreck-it Ralph: Here, let me do it! punches the door which breaks open, since he is "Wreck-it Ralph" Eddy: "Where is he? Do you see him?" factory is completely dark and nonoperational. "Where ya hidin' at, ya big lug?" Thomas: My, this is a strange place. Zoe Trent: Ugh, it's so dirty in here! Fluttershy: I hope the door doesn't close. door closes Sunil Nevla: yelps Fluttershy: yelps What was that? into the wall and her cowardliness kicks in AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Willy: Calm down, Fluttershy. Wreck-It Ralph: The place looks like a dump! Ed: "Ollie ollie oxen free!" runs through the factory. "Oh look, lots of stuffy stuff." Dusty Crophopper: This place is really dusty. Dash: Hey, you just said your own name... Bash: ...when this place is really dusty itself! Ferdinand: That's right. (He, Bash and Dash laughed at that joke.) Dusty Crophopper: Ha, ha, ha. Very funny, Logging Locos. Eddy: "Bro! It's me, Eddy! You know–Pipsqueak?" looks around. "Where is everybody? Are you sure this is the gag factory? 'Cause I ain't laughin." Buttercream Sunday: Well, this place give me the gigglely giggles along with a lot of buttery butterflies in my tummy toms! Ed: a pair of gag glasses "Looks gaggy to me, Eddy." Uray: Ed, let me see that comic book again. hands him the comic Rheneas: Those wacko specs are an old joke. Uray: the pages, then he finds the print date reading "1994" That's.. THAT'S NEARLY FIFTEEN YEARS AGO! Twilight Sparkle: WHAT?! YOU MEAN THAT THIS FACTORY HAS BEEN DESERTED FOR 15 YEARS?! Uray: Yep, it's written here in black and white. Ed: "Revolt of the Rotting Brains! A classic." Russell Ferguson: Oh great! Now we're stuck in the middle again! Eddy: "This comic's useless!" tosses it away. Ed: "Eddy!" gallops around, looking for it. "Oh where, oh where has my rotting brain gone!" Eddy: "We're hooped!" collapses to the dusty floor. "We'll never find my brother, Double D." Edd: "Never say "never", Eddy. Perhaps old customer receipts or employee records will unearth a clue to his whereabouts." Mucker: Let's check in the office. Hugs: Oh great. While you guys seach the office, what are the rest of us gonna do? Ed: "Choo choo!" pushes a heavy box into Eddy. "Oh, look! Boxes stuffed with stuff!" Edd: "Not again! Ed! We'll never make headway if you keep rummaging for–" rubber chicken hits him. Ed: "Chickens, Double D! Oh I love them to death I do!" Eddy: "Can't have a party without a rubber chicken, Double D! Big bro said so." Rainbow Dash: Yeah! Mako: Hey Pinkie, your shoelace is untied. looks down, then Mako twangs her muzzle Gotcha! You don't have shoes! Pinkie Pie: laughs Good one, Mako! Charlie: laughing Pepper Clark: laughs Classic! Sharky: Poor rookies. Edd: "Edifying." approaches some stairs. "I'll go examine the factory's filing cabinets and see what I can find." starts the climb. Mucker: Let me help you out with that. Eddy: Ed "What else you got in there, lummox?" stands at the office door. He tugs on rubber gloves and a surgical mask before entering. Inside, the lights switch on. Outside, Ed and Eddy are still looking for toys. Eddy finds something and hides it behind his back. Eddy: "Oh, Ed..." holds out the item. "Gum?" Ed: "Lucky me!" grabs a stick and pulls. The gum then proceeds to give him a severe electrical shock. Eddy: laughing "What a chump!" Mako: Hey, pull my hook! Dash does so and Mako makes a silly sound Mako: laughs Rainbow Dash: laughs Eddy: he grabs his stomach. "My stomach, Ed! I think I'm gonna–BLLAAAH!" tosses some fake vomit onto the floor. Ed: "Pardon me, miss, but I think you dropped your lunch!" throws it back down. Eddy: "Hey, quit tossing my cookies!" Ed: "I upped your chuck, Eddy!" Dusty Crophopper: Real funny guys. Vanellope: What a moron. Eddy: "Looks real, don't it?" Ed: "No home should be without one, Eddy!" break into raucous laughter as Edd, upstairs, fiddles with the files. He finds the employee file and opens it, only to dump the contents out; they're so old, they have crumbled into dust. Edd: disgusted "Goodness." Mucker: It's no use, all the files have disintegrated. slams the cabinet shut and is thanked with a cloud of dust to his face. He then walks over to the trashcan and tosses away his mask before turning back to the file cabinet, labeler in hand. Edd: the office "Have you forgotten why we're here?" removes his gloves. "Eddy?" Sharky: Mako! Applejack: Pinkie! Percy: Charlie! Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash! Vinnie Terrio: Pepper! Edd: "Ed? Hello!" replies. "Oh, for Pete's sake. If this is some kind of foolish joke you're playing, it's not funny." Gordon: Yeah! Come out here now! Wherever you are! Stephen: MAKO! whistles walks around the dark, silent factory floor. Not finding his friends, he becomes scared. Edd: "Eddy? Ed?" gear wheel clatters to the floor and rolls out from a gap between two machines. Edd approaches the gap. Edd: "Is anyone there?" Willy: Guys! Are you in there? steps out with a cleaver buried in his forehead. Eddy: "RUN DOUBLE D! Save yourself..." crumples to the ground. Rarity: at the top of her lungs Edd: "EDDY! THIS CAN'T BE!" stumbles backwards into Ed, who has a fork through his head. Ed: rolled back in his skull "If looks could kill I'd be dead." Rainbow Dash: out with an arrow through her head We've been skured! Pinkie Pie: but with her left leg gone We're being hunted! Mako: a harpoon in his dorsal fin, his snout, and his back Save yourselves! Pepper Clark: out with a knife in her stomach Guys... Run for your lives! Before it's too la..... (falls to the ground) Shai-Shay: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edd: "AAH! AAH! AAAH!" Thomas: yells Twilight Sparkle: GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Wreck-It Ralph: AAAAAHHH!!!!!! T.C.: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Zoe Trent: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Dusty: AAH!!! CMC: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! James: AAAAAHHH!!! Fluttershy: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! Sunil Nevla; AAAAAAH!!!!! AAAAH!!! AAAAAHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! around screaming Rarity: faints Ed: and mocking him "Aah! Aah! Help me! Help me! I'm Double D!" Mako: laughs You should've seen the looks on your faces! out the harpoon in his fin It's a fake! Pinkie Pie: laughs Rainbow Dash: laughing We got you guys good! out the arrow [Eddy joins in.] Eddy: the cleaver "It's a gag, see? What'd ya, fall off the back of a truck?" Pepper Clark: (laughing) We got you guys good! the knife is actually a rubber one Really good! onto her back laughing Zecora: HAVE YOU GONE MAD?! Russell Ferguson: Pepper! That was not funny! You had us scared out of our minds! Sunil Nevla: What are you trying to do, scare us to death?! Percy: Okay, very funny. Now where's Charlie? Charlie: else Here I am! Percy: Where? Charlie: Right here! Shining Armor: We can't see you! something bumps Applejack Applejack: Hey! Who's pushin' me? Charlie: Me! Princess Cadance: Come on, Charlie! You got us! Now, where are you?! Rainbow Dash: Maybe Charlie turned invisible. Rusty: Turned invisible? Mr. Great White: Let's just start feeling around for the purple tank engine. starts walking around with their arms out, trying to find Charlie Vinnie Terrio: Charlie! Charlie! Minka Mark: (in sing-songy voice) Where are you? Twilight Sparkle: This is ridiculous, it's like trying to find a needle in a haysta... something OOF! Hey guys, I think I find him! Charlie: Yeah! You're on fire! Rainbow Dash: a cloud over Charlie and starts raining on him, which washes invisible paint off Charlie: Gotcha! Rarity: stutters How did you do that? Pinkie Pie: The same thing I did to my leg! out invisible paint Peter Sam: Invisible paint! That's a good one! Dusty Crophopper: Yeah! Charlie sure had us fooled! Puffy: He, let's take this paint with us. It could be useful. Mako: Now there was a good prank. the fake harpoon on his snout (Which is actually a rubber dart) NEE!! it out, then grabs the one on his back Hee!! it out Ed: giggling "Aw, we're sorry, Double D. Jelly bean?" holds out a can. Edd: "Why, thank you, Ed. These should prove quite comforting, and I am a bit peckish." tries to open the lid twice, with no success. "A stubborn lid, this." Skunky: what's going on NO! No, no, don't! Those aren't jelly beans, D! It's a "Snakes in a c... Edd: strains and finally breaks the seal. "Ah, success." Kevin: Oh no, it's gonna blow! Applejack: (to Twilight) I'd take cover if I were you. Twilight Sparkle: Aahh! (takes cover with Applejack) (Everybody else quickly take cover) factory bulges and explodes, raining down a tremendous amount of rubber snakes. The snakes fall all over in a rain, landing on a roadway. They fall everywhere, including on Nazz and Kevin. Kevin picks one up. Nazz: "Whoa! What's that?" Kevin: the factory "Dorks." grins evilly. with Rolf has come to rest under a tree and is chewing on some sausages. He hears Rolf calling. Rolf: "Hallo! Wilfred?" noses into the bushes and peeps out. He sees Rolf searching for him. Rolf: "Rolf is so sad! This is true! Like a little shrinking un-plucked billy goat, Rolf cries and cries and cries! Rolf's back is a shoe. Rolf smacks it against his hand. At this, Wilfred's eyes widen, and he charges. Rolf: "Stay back, or you will meet Rolf's shoe!" attacks Rolf. "Mama, assist Rolf! The sow has ruptured! Wilfred!" clamps down on Rolf's stomach. "Stop! Release Rolf!" lets go, and Rolf's stack falls on him. Wilfred wriggles out and runs away, squealing. Rolf crawls from the wreckage, a strange device over his head. Rolf: Wilfred? with it This thing must come- snaps back onto his head our heroes Applejack: chuckling Spittin' snakes! Somepony pulled that prank on me last month! Dash: Bash: Ferdinand: That's right. (He, Bash and Dash laughed at that.) Eds are walking through another wooded area. Ed: laughing "Oh boy, Eddy, did you see him go flying? He flew like a canoe!" to a snake "This doesn't even look like a jellybean!" Eddy: "Just keep your eyes peeled, chuckles." Pepper Clark: Steamy: I didn't even know that those "snakes in a can" had that many snakes. Rattlesnake Jake: Now that was a good one. Skarloey: Dusty, can you fly above and see if you can find Double-D? Dusty Crophopper: Sure thing, Skarloey. off Mako: That was a real hoot! picking up some of the snakes 1206: Where is Double-D? Socky: He could be anywhere. Edd: from far away "Assistance please!" Ed: "I think he flew over here, Eddy!" Eddy: "Where?" Ed: a tree "What?" Eddy: "What?" Ed: "Who?" Edd: "HEEELLLPPP!" Dusty Crophopper: back Hey guys! I find him! Follow me! Skunky: It sounds like he's in trouble! Ed: "Double D!" tosses the tree over his shoulder and runs towards the sound. Eddy: "Hey!" tree lands on Eddy. Ed: under a bush "See?" Eddy: "Why you dirty–" Ed: "Tag! You're it!" Eddy: "You're dead!" chases Ed off a cliff. Ed: "Look, I'm Double D! I'm flying!" land next to a river. Eddy: "Idiot." Luke: Double-D! Dazzlen: Double-D! Where are you?! Apple Bloom: up Hey, there he is! Vanellope: Where? Stephen: Yeah, Apple Bloom, where? Apple Bloom: Up there! On the waterfall! Edd: "Get me down from here!" is hanging from a ledge on top of a waterfall by his hat. Ed: "Hi Double D!" Eddy: "Hey Sockhead, can you see my bro's place from up there?" Edd: angry "NO!!!! Now get me down!" Eddy: "You heard him, lumpy." Edd: "Hurry please, I'm afraid I can't hold on for much longer gentlemen!" Applejack: How are we gonna git' him down? Marshall P.F.: Maybe I can whip lasso him. takes out his whip but finds it's too short It's too short! Zecora: It's too small, it won't be able to reach a cliff top that tall. Victor: How do we get him down? Dusty Crophopper: Maybe I can fly above him and he can grab my landing gear. Dusten: No, Dusty, you could crash into the waterfall. Zip: We need to think of a way to get him down. Rheneas: I think Uray's already found a way. heroes see Uray climbing the ciff Thomas: Careful! Twilight Sparkle: Steady! Uray: Hang on Double-D, grunts I'll get you down! Edd: Hurry! Percy: Come on! Toby: Hurry up! Wreck-It Ralph: Quick! Uray: his magnet crane out to Double-D which he grabs on. But then Ed throws Eddy up at them. [He scores a direct hit. Then Uray feels his grip lose Oh no. (screams while he falls) Edd: (screaming) Thomas: Watch out! fall into the water at the waterfall's base. When they hit, all the water is splashed upwards, and a bunch of buried treasure is revealed. The water comes down, soaking everything in the vicinity. Ed: and shivering "Cold!" and Eddy crawl out of the water. Eddy drags Edd onto dry land with his upper lip, which has gotten wedged in Edd's gap. Ed: impressed "Fancy trick, Eddy! Where'd you learn to do that?" Edd: "How mortifying!" Eddy: "My big bro showed me!" Ed: "Do tell!" Eddy: "Yep, my bro's a whiz at harpooning whales!" Edd: upset "He is? Your brother is a whaler?" Eddy: "My mom's got fifty pounds of blubber in the freezer as we speak!" Edd: "You mean all this time–" Ed: "That's more blubber than my mom's got!" Eddy: "And he's got a peg leg too! But that's what you get for wrestling walruses." Uray: out of the water Oh really now? Edd: "Eddy! If your brother is a whaler, then he must reside by the sea!" Ed: "How do we find it, Double D?" Edd: "It's quite simple, Ed. You see, this stream is a veritable highway that will lead us straight to it. We merely need to float upon the current, and it will carry us to its opening and Eddy's brother's retreat." Sharky: Perfect! Let's start building a boat. Evan: out an ax Way ahead of ya. Category:Stuingtion Category:Transcripts Category:Scenes